Just When Time Was Running Out

Only last week, Hick was bemoaning the current status of his Tuesday night bingo experience. 

"It seems like they ain't got no good prizes, and we never win nothin' anyway."

"Yeah, and you get home earlier every week! Maybe you guys should switch back to Wednesday night bingo."

"We've talked about it. But it's the kind of crowd they let in. And it's really crowded."

I'm guessing by the crowd, Hick means they are a younger group, as you might expect to frequent a sports bar, and not the elderlies who appear to make up the sparser crowd at the Tuesday night location.

Anyhoo... Hick might give Tuesday night bingo another chance for a while. Seeing as how he WON A 'PRICE' there this week!

Hick sent me a text when it happened. Only two words: I WON. He proudly carried it through the door, still in the box, at 7:25. The earliest he's come home yet! At least with Wednesday night bingo, I didn't enjoy his company again until 8:45.

I don't know where Hick is going to hang his 'price,' but I promise it won't suffer the fate of a certain leg lamp special award...

This Chip Takes a Bite Out of Val

I found a new kind of potato chip on Monday at Country Mart. They were 2-for-$5. I picked the new ones for myself, and got Hick the "Baby Back Ribs" flavor of BBQ chips. He hasn't tried his version yet. I have tried mine, and and have a love/hate opinion of them.

Let the record show that I like horseradish. I used to have a little jar in FRIG II to mix with ketchup and make my own cocktail sauce for shrimp. I liked putting it on the Philly Cheese Steak version of Hot Pockets, until they got recalled in 2014. And I liked extra "Horsey Sauce" when we used to get Arby's roast beef sandwiches. So I figured this was just the flavor of chips for me!

We don't get Herr's potato chips all the time here. I think they are mainly an east coast brand. But they'll appear in a special buy, at Save-A-Lot, or Country Mart, in a front-aisle display every now and then. I especially love the Sweet Corn version, which tastes like corn-on-the-cob.

Anyhoo... I tried the Horseradish and Cheddar chips a couple days ago. Whew! They are definitely heavy on the horseradish flavor! They burn your mouth in the beginning, and send a wave of spice up your nose. But then the flavor levels off to the cheddar. So you try another. With the same result. This is one chip that you do not wish to have a thick layer of flavor coating!

When these are gone, I will buy them again. As long as I have a Shasta Diet Cola ready to put out the fire.

Lottery Tales: A Literal Lottery Tale From the Mouth of a Guy on a Beeper Cart at Country Mart

I was getting Frogger tickets out of the right-side lottery machine at Country Mart on Monday, when a guy on a beeper cart pulled up to the left-side machine.

"Are you buying all the winners out of it?"

"Trying to! Not having a lot of luck lately, but I cashed in two $1000 winners on Wednesday."

"Good for you!"

"I just hate it that we have to drive to the city to do that."

"I know! Sometimes I give tickets to my friends. I tell them, 'Anything over $50, we'll split.' I gave a ticket to one of my lady friends, and she won $1000. So we drove to the city, and each claimed half."

"Yeah, and then they don't take the taxes out. It's like winning $500 apiece on separate tickets."

"Uh huh. We got our checks, and she said, 'This couldn't have come at a better time. I really needed it.' That made me feel bad for her, and I ended up giving her my money, too."

"That was a nice thing to do."

"Well, I figured she needed it more than I did."

As he was leaving, he encountered a guy at the door, and they both stopped, telling the other to go first. Beeper Cart Guy told him, "I'm sitting down. Go ahead. It won't hurt me to wait a second."

Such a different experience than my last encounter there with a beeper cart guy!

Lottery Tales: The Long Strange Trip Home

As Hick was parking at the state lottery office on Wednesday, I suggested that he reset his phone for the trip home. Perhaps "suggested" is not quite the proper word. I told Hick at least four times that he should reset his phone's directions.

"I know how to get back."

Uh huh. Hick had taken me to the lottery office at least three times, but did not remember how to get there. So I'm supposed to believe he knows how to get home??? When we left, Hick took a left turn.

"I'm pretty sure you needed a right. That's how we came in."

"I know how to get home, Val. I always go this way."

Of course it was wrong. We went under the highway we needed to get onto. Hick even said,

"That's it up there. We're going under it. I should have turned earlier."

We drove into a residential neighborhood. Hick made a left turn, and used a driveway to turn around. But instead of re-programming his phone, he pulled out onto a major road. THEN he stopped. To put the info into his phone. 

"Why couldn't you have done this on the side street? Now we're in traffic."

"They can go around. It's two lanes, and we're by these cones that block off the right lane."

Anyhoo... the phone (which I read to Hick, not wanting his eyes off the road) told us how to get back to the highway. So sad. Hick might have made it home in time for his meat loaf lunch at the Senior Center, had he only reset his phone before we went in early to our lottery office appointment.

We got back on the major six-lane highway. Made our exit onto the three-lane highway that turns into two lanes. Then Hick had a bright idea.

"I think I'll get a car wash. This car is filthy." Said the man who drives so fast on our gravel road that mud splashes up onto the windows.

We have FREE car wash privileges at the dealer where we bought A-Cad. Back in 2015. All you have to do is get in line and drive through the automatic car wash. No money needed. Of course there were other people with the same idea. Including a white pickup truck with no dirt on it whatsoever. I think that guy must drive through the car wash every day on his lunch hour. 

There were four cars ahead of us. Hick said each wash took four minutes. But I guess he wasn't accounting for the time it took each one to sit in the air-blowing part before leaving. Thus delaying everyone behind them from pulling forward. We spent 30 MINUTES getting a FREE car wash.

That might not seem like much delay, unless you are an old lady who calculates your drive time by your pee schedule. I had plenty of time for a straight drive home. But the delay was an issue. Of course Hick didn't mind. Because once we got home, he jumped out of A-Cad to use nature as one big toilet (like Jeff Goldblum's character in The Big Chill), while I had to get my stiffened knees out of A-Cad after a 2-hour drive, and hobble into the house. I made it!

Hick needs to be less hard-headed when it comes to getting directions.

Some Days You're the Tire, Some Days You're the Frogger

The Universe has been jackpot-blocking Val! I've had a couple weeks of not-winning. Oh, I can manage to win money-back on some tickets. But no good jackpots. Just the minimum. Saturday was especially trying. I felt like the star of my current favorite ticket.

At least I enjoyed moderate success, with a win from the right-side lottery machine at 10Box:

Val was exhausted from jumping through all the hoops The Universe placed in her path to achieve this $25 win on that $5 ticket. 

Let the record show that I go to the Gas Station Chicken Store every day for lottery tickets. I like the crossword, and Frogger. In addition, I go to one other random business. Sometimes Casey's, or the Liquor Store, or 10Box, or Orb K. They are all located in Backroads. I go to whichever one I feel like will give me a winner. That decision is made before I leave home.

Saturday was not a good day for planning. According to The Universe.

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Gas Station Chicken Store

I pulled onto the lot, and saw a red sedan in my rightful handicap parking space. I looped around, and parked in the space behind it, next to the FREE AIR hose. No handicap plates, no placard. I just sat there waiting for it to leave. My knees were not eager to take extra steps. After three minutes, that sedan started up and left. Not sure what was going on, but nobody came out and got in with the driver.

The Gas Station Chicken Store had my crossword ticket. They were out yesterday. But they had no Froggers. The Man Owner had told my favorite cashier that people don't like them. So he put a different ticket in their slot.

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Backroads Casey's

I could see there were no cars in their parking spaces, save for the maroon mini-van that belongs to the Old Gal who is nice to me. I headed over there, only to have a black truck pull in and park sideways next to my handicap space. I could still park there. But a worker and an old dude who looked like Willie Nelson in blue Dickeys work clothes were standing on the sidewalk, smoking. Cigarettes, I assume. Though it WAS 4/20. They were in the area where I would have to step up on the sidewalk, holding onto T-Hoe's hood. No thank you. Not getting out and trying to elbow my way onto the sidewalk. I left.

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The Liquor Store

Not many cars on the lot for a Saturday afternoon. So I planned to go there. Except a car was coming out of the lot, taking up room I needed to pull in. AND the light changed, so I would have to wait for 20+ cars before turning left. No thank you. I got in the left-turn lane to go to 10Box.

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10Box

I nabbed the closest handicap space. Went inside. The left machine was out of Froggers! So I got a crossword. But I couldn't get to the right machine because a worker and her friend were standing in front of it. Not buying any tickets. Just standing. Watching. Then the worker said, "Oh, do you want to use this?" And I said, "Yes, I'd like to get my Froggers."

That gal said she thought she saw a new Taxes Paid $5 ticket when the machine was running its video it does when people aren't using it. I've not heard of such a ticket, but they've had them in the past. Anyhoo... I got two Frogger tickets out of it. Had I known how the rest of my search would go, I'd have gotten more!

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Orb K

Leaving 10Box, I figured I could stop by Orb K on my way out of town, to get a couple of Froggers. The parking space I like was taken. So I went around the sidewalk to the end, by the pay vacuum, to park and wait for that vehicle to leave. Well. There were seven cars in front of Orb K. I waited for five minutes, and NOBODY came out! So I figured there was a slow cashier, or everybody was trying to use their card and having problems. So I left, and headed back under the overpass and into town, to try Casey's again.

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Backroads Casey's (2)

I could see from the stoplight that Casey's had a full parking lot. Including the handicap space. So I scrubbed that try, and pulled onto the lot of the Liquor Store.

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The Liquor Store (2)

Only about five cars there, so I parked and went in. They were OUT OF FROGGERS! Such a disappointment. I got a couple of other tickets, but they turned out to be losers.

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Anyhoo... at least I won $25 on one of my Froggers from the 10Box right-side machine. And $10 on a crossword from the Gas Station Chicken Store. And $5 from a crossword out of the left-side 10Box machine. Not getting rich, but it's something. It's the least The Universe could do, after thwarting my efforts in a quest to buy Froggers.

Lottery Tales: A Token of Appreciation

When the lottery gal slid our checks through the metal trough, she also gave a little token of her (MOLottery's) appreciation to us. They didn't used to do that. However... they used to have good items you could get when you redeemed points that you earn from losing tickets. Oh, how times have changed!

The old prize system had several tiers of goods you could trade your points for. Redeem them for coupons for future tickets, or coolers, camp chairs, small electronics, picnic sets, BBQ grills. I can't even remember the stuff now, but it was worth saving your points to get the good stuff. 

The prize redemption changed several years ago. Now all you can get are tickets, magazine subscriptions, and gift cards. No actual merchandise. Just online stuff that nobody really wants. I feel betrayed.

In-store giveaways were better than the current stuff. The lottery lady was at the Gas Station Chicken Store a couple years ago, with a table set up, and a wheel to spin if you bought tickets. I won a pair of plastic sunglasses, and a little spiral flip notebook. 

Anyhoo... here's what the lottery gal gave us:

SCRATCHERS! For scratching scratchers. I don't know if I'll use one. I have my "lucky" quarter that I have used for years. No need to upset the applecart. But you can bet that I will take Hick's scratcher. After all. They were MY winning tickets, bought with my weekly cash allowance money. Hick will never miss this plastic gadget.

Lottery Tales: Inside the Inner Sanctum

I don't know the appointment times of the other two winners inside the state lottery office. Since that gal complained that everybody was showing up early, I assume they could only have been 9:50, or later than our 10:00 appointment. As I mentioned, appointments are every 10 minutes, and we got there at 9:45.

I was going to make this title: A Hick, an Indian, and a Black Guy Walk Into a Lottery Office. But I figured that would offend some people. I don't describe people out of malice, but only because I try to set the scene in my tales. In this case, showing that it's not just Missouri rednecks who play the lottery.

The Indian Guy (Asian, not Native American), was not talkative. He kept to himself, filling out his forms, then waiting for his turn. The Black Guy was more vocal. He looked at a blown-up ticket on the wall, and said, "Look at that! Wouldn't that be great to win?" It was a $50 ticket, and the win was $1,000,000. There was a 500X multiplier, for a $2000 prize.

Hick said, "I know the guy that sold that ticket!"

I figured Hick was just talking out his rumpus as usual. But I asked the guy's name, and Hick told me the name of his store. Which was listed on the ticket info on the wall. So I guess he really DID know the guy.

Anyhoo... Black Guy said he had won $15,000 on a $5 crossword ticket. I play those every day!!! But the highest I've won is $100. He said he scratched off the top puzzle, and won nothing. He was disgusted, and tossed that ticket onto his "losers" pile. Then at the end, he took it back and scratched off the bottom puzzle. He was shocked that he had a multiplier that made his win $15,000. 

What makes that story worse for me is that Black Guy got his ticket in a town near where Hick used to work, halfway between the lottery office and Backroads. Dang it! I was happy for his win. But I see a nearby big win as a sign that I'm probably not going to get a big win on that ticket.

Anyhoo... we left while wishing each other luck in the future. I'm always happy when somebody wins big, even it it isn't me.